00:24. I’m sitting in my bed. In the middle of our small living room. Half naked. Covered by a blanket. Almost ready to put another day behind me. My eyes are staring outside at the blue
dark. The light from our apartment is reflecting it naked self in the window.
The five skyscrapers that is our view is blinking me goodnight. The lights are
blurry as my contacts lenses are removed for the night. Eminem is singing ”Never
mistreated you once” before he is being replaced by Melissa Horn singing ”Jag är vaken hela natten”. Our two chairs are overloaded with clothes. I’m sitting
on the mattress that’s supposed to be in the empty bed upstairs. For the last three
days its been in front our closet, causing the messy chairs. My back is leaning
against the closet door. My legs are crossed. The make-up is removed and my
hair is tied away. The slightly open terrace door is letting in the sound of
the passing sirens, making the four candle lights dance slowly with the breath
from the wind.
My mind is overloaded with the temporal lobe, the
hippocampus, amnesic patients, declarative and non-declarative memory,
remembering, forgetting, our senses, and it’s not nearly enough. Maybe I’m not
nearly enough. Not for this course at least. But I will do my very best. I will
smile, think positive thoughts and believe it in my heart. Then it will all be
allright. My mom said so.
As it says on the wall in our study hub.
”Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were
to live forever.”
Is that really inspiring? I can’t decide.
I look to the other side on the wall where it says: ”Keep
calm and carry on.”
I’ll do my best.
Promise xx
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